Notes on Returning No. 2
Here we are again, and a whole week has passed by since our first Notes on Returning Sunday Letter. I am so excited to announce that our By Crystie vintage style booth in downtown Navasota, TX is complete and ready for you to stop by and take a look. You can find us on the Mezzanine floor (right up the staircase - then straight ahead)at Circle P Antiques. We have been working hard at curating vintage clothing, home decor, art, and handmade jewelry these past few months, and now Booth 222 is live! Feels surreal to build a new silo.
Now let’s get on to the real reason you are reading this note. This week, I had a different topic planned than last night; something was revealed to me by the Lord, and I felt compelled to share it with you. Red flags don’t appear as red flags at the beginning. At least not the ones that will take you out. They appear as yellow flags. But yellow never turns to green… yellow always turns to red eventually. Think about it. You are driving, and the yellow light means caution - you are about to stop. It doesn’t mean caution; the go signal is good. No, it means be prepared to stop soon.
Years ago, I was in a marriage with a gambling addict. Being someone who developed a drinking problem, addiction is one of those things that consumes not only the addict but everyone around. It was devastating what happened. Bank accounts constantly went negative or were shut down. I oftentimes did not have money for basic things like getting my car repaired when the transmission ran out or lunch at work. Somehow, there was always money to stay at a suite at a casino or take a trip to Vegas. I personally never found joy in gambling. The risk didn’t pay enough of a reward, and the stress of losing bothered me. I learned, though, that for the gambler, the pure act produces dopamine. The more they gamble, the more their minds begin to form a cyclical addiction, just like porn will do for some. It was so hard to be in that tornado. I felt like no matter what I did, I was in a cycle of chaos. The truth is, I was.
Until an addict seeks recovery - that doesn’t mean just stopping or doing it less - but gets to the root of why they need that rush or the addiction, the cycle will continue even when they are not gambling. Same with alcohol, or porn, or anything else. If there is a cycle, even when the “substance” is removed, their emotional issues will remain. One of the biggest signs I’ve found with someone who struggles with emotional issues is when they say, “I only gamble a little.” I’ve found that if they only gamble a little, they’ve just learned how to limit themselves. But the truth is, they still believe it’s morally okay for them to gamble at all.
I would later come across another relationship that said just those same words. “I only gambled a little,” or “penny slots,” or “a few dollars.” The truth is, you chose to do it, and for some reason, it’s fun to you. Insert yellow flag. What I learned is that both people who told me they only did it a little struggled with their view of money. Neither had a spirit of generosity nor tithed. Now, I’m not judging them - we all fall short of the glory. However, I did notice a pattern. When it came down to it, I would be in a situation where both of them reduced my value when it came to uplifting their own business and finances. I was offered well below what I should have been paid, and they tried to justify that they didn’t have more money. After evaluating their overall lifestyle choices and assets, they did. They just chose differently.
You see, gambling - just like drinking and many other forms of escapism- signals that you don’t have enough in your present moment. It will reinforce the inadequacy that only going to Jesus can fill. Instead of reading God’s word, praying, or fasting (or all of the above) for an extended period of time, it’s easier to get a dopamine hit and escape… relax, as you may call it. But it’s not a relaxing thing to do. It’s not self-care if you are signaling inadequacy to your brain. Most of all, it creates a false sense of wealth when winnings come in. But the gambler then eventually has to try again to win more. Back to inadequacy and not having enough. Do you see what I mean?
So how do you combat this mental loop? First, admit that it’s there. Then, take it to the Lord. Lay it at his feet and begin tithing. Give generously every time you tip - double what you did it in the past. Remove your own yellow flags. Give yourself the green light to raise your own vibration and energy. You have to completely rid your mind of the idea that gambling creates wealth - no matter how much money a gambler wins… they have a poor man’s mindset of scarcity. This past week, I heard the same words from someone I was interviewing for a future financial advisor position… “I only gamble occasionally.” I realized once our call closed that when it came down to making decisions, even if he was a good person who tried to do the right thing, it was likely he would value money higher than generosity. Out of obedience to what God has instructed in my life, I knew I couldn’t move forward. I couldn’t allow a yellow flag to turn into a red one with what God was going to have me steward.
So I made the decision to decline the offer even though it was much appreciated. Instead, I will, for now, depend solely on the Lord’s direction as I move forward in my finances and business choices. So far, the Lord has never let me down. For next week’s Sunday Letter for Notes on Returning - make sure you suscribe below or follow along on Substack.
