Between Us, Dear - How a Person Tips Tells You Everything About Their Character
Location: Cafe Reggio, West Village, NYC, NY
Dearest Friend,
I know you’ve sat at tables and wondered how a person could treat a server so poorly. I have too. Once I was on a date, and my date was irritated at the waitress for not going to the back and asking her boss how many ounces his cup held. He wanted to know if it was 12oz or 13oz. I’m sure she rolled her eyes at him and moved on with her day. How a person tips, treats waitstaff, or talks about those who are in the service industry says everything about their character. I’ve noticed a correlation between natural generosity in tipping and penny pinching and how generous a person is inside a relationship. The guy who tips 15% (or less) is oftentimes the guy who will struggle to provide or provide extras for his spouse.
The man who chooses to require a server to go outside of her job responsibilities is either consciously or subconsciously seeking control. If he does that to a server, he is capable of that inside the relationship or marriage, too. Little behaviors add up. A man who loudly takes care of the whole table is usually a generous gift-giver and performer. This is someone who loves to entertain others at whatever expense. Then, there are the quiet ones. They tip high, quietly take care of the bill, and you can get a sense they’ve been doing this their whole life. These men are usually raised with a wealth mindset. They are the kind of gentleman who would leave a $20 bill for the housekeeper even if they only stay at a hotel one night.
The action of tipping tells you how generous a person’s heart is. It’s the state of the heart. Oftentimes, servers are making just a few dollars an hour, and no matter what the size of the table or what people order, they still have bills to pay. Many of them are college kids or single moms or young gentlemen trying to juggle things. The kinder your date is to the waitstaff and the higher they tip on a consistent basis, the more likely they are to be kinder and more generous to you. It’s also likely that he will not review receipts after you go to the grocery store or scour the bills, expecting something. He will be responsible for the money without control.
I know as you read this, you’ve probably met someone like this or are currently in a relationship with them. Just a reminder, you are worth far more than rubies. You don’t have to stay. You deserve both kindness and generosity in your relationships.
With heaps of love,
Crystal
