Happily Ever After
Two years ago I gained weight. Sigh - there I said it (you can scroll to the bottom for a before and after pic). That was a big one for me to let out. I’m very much a perfectionist in a lot of ways. It’s a tough attribute to deal with because no matter how hard I try - it’s impossible for me to attain perfection. I wasn’t just overweight either. I was depressed and anxious at the same time. Can we say double-whammy? I didn’t want to drive anywhere due to panic attacks. I was constantly walking around in a foggy gloom. I wondered if this was all there was to life… I had this corporate job I was frustrated being apart of because I didn’t feel like I made a difference. I didn’t fit in with any of the suburban moms. My friends were married and had multiple kids. I lacked purpose, discernment and everything felt really complicated.
Recently I wrote on how transformation is an inside job. I felt ugly on the outside because my heart was sad. I tried mending a relationship but found that the longer I was in it… the worse it actually was. I was alone. That’s when I really discovered yoga. You see yoga is about being in alignment - body, soul and mind. You practice breathing deeply and stretching. You release tension and move the body. In turn, all that crazy breathing and stretching releases good stuff in the brain called serotonin and endorphins. You also feel super connected in a yoga class with other people which releases oxytocin. I began taking five days a week and walking to and from class. I hit 10k steps everyday during the Fall and Winter of that year.
The more I moved my body the better my brain felt. I was happier. I still had a long way to go, but I was better than I was. Over the course of the next three months I took a dip in my progress. I did push forward but took a few steps back during that timeframe. I stopped doing the yoga and kept up with the walks. By March I was having issues again. More panic, even more depression. It was still a big mess. I learned a lot from my three month period of yoga and it was enough for me to get myself together and make life changes where I just would never go back. Progress rarely looks like a perfect up and to the right diagonal line. Usually progress is like a rollercoaster. Some days are good. Some days are great. Some days are tough and lucky to get through.
I aslso setarted focusing on my mindset. Even though I was moving my body all day I wasn’t focusing on dieting or calorie counting. I ate my vegetables and fruits first and tried to get in a few miles consistently everyday. Where I spent time thinking was on how I could improve myself as a person. Change your mindset and you’ll change your life. I read tons of personal development books, listened to podcasts and constantly tried to combat negative thinking. The results showed in both my physical form and my mental mindset. My body kept transforming and so did every other area of my life. If you want to live happily ever after, then you’ll have to look at your mental and physical state. Being happy is a choice. Joy is something that comes from within and exudes to the exterior. I believe anyone can have this if they focus on the solution and stop worrying about the problem.
A simple way to change your habits begins with changing your mornings. Get up earlier and in your first hour of being awake go for a walk, do some yoga and then read a book about how to improve your mindset. You can check out this post for more recommendations on books and this one has audio books included in it too! That first hour is about you filling your cup that day so you can give to someone else. So that you can show up in life for others, for your job, and to make a positive impact. Get up everyday and do a little bit more for you. I dare you to try it starting now through the end of the year. I bet you find so much more joy in the holiday season and less stress!
The Before Picture - Oct 2018
Nothing in my life has been a product of chance. God gives us free will to walk the Earth and if we make a decision it has consequences one way or another. On March 22, 2019 I kissed alcohol goodbye for forever. I was at a place in my life where I was lost, miserable and completely heartbroken. It was at least a year of turmoil or more and I was in deep depression. Some of my friends will tell you I was a wreck. Others will tell you that they just couldn’t figure out what was going on. All I knew is that no matter what, the alcohol had to go. At that exact same time, I was in a relationship with someone who regularly drank and partied. I knew that I was on a path to sobriety but I had no idea the things I would be giving up when I made that rock bottom choice. Including that relationship and many more as the years would pass by.