Five Things I Wish I Could Tell My 20-Year-Old Self
I recently shared this topic on a Facebook live for International Women’s Day and thought about how impactful the advice I would give to my younger self may have on others! Although there are many things I wish I knew at an earlier age but looking back the biggest thing I would have changed was learning to trust my gut. To just block out all of the white noise around me and listen to my inner voice. I also wish I had implemented a skincare regimen much earlier and taken better care of things like my teeth. But as we all live and learn, the list of self advice continues to grow. Here are five things I wish I could tell my 20-year-old self:
Get in the habit of saving something every single month no matter what. If that something was only $20 - I wish I had been better about sticking to this discipline.
You are going to wish things were easy until you realize it’s in the challenges you become who you really are. Character and strength are only built from tough circumstances and pressure.
Every challenge is an opportunity to grow. Stop seeing problems as brick walls and start focusing on finding ways to dismantle them.
Consistency always wins. Doing a little every day adds up!
Always, always trust your gut. Listen to your truth.
What about you? What do you wish you could tell your younger self?
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For the past year and a half, I have a confession to make. I spiraled. I’m not sure exactly what spurred it on, but I went down a worry wormhole like none other. Part of it felt like it started at the beginning of pregnancy. As my therapist and I discussed the why over this past year she brought to my attention that it was likely a form of protection like a mama bear would have with her cubs. None the less it got to a point where I felt like I couldn’t go a day without fear arising. Trauma in life can do some crazy things to the brain. It can carve channels that spur fear by creating neurological connections. That’s the science behind it, and the good news is - you can change it. It’s called neuroplasticity. Both prayer and meditation are proven to rewire the brain. Today I’m going to share a few ways you can take your power back and let go of worrying for life.
For the past year, I’ve struggled to feel spiritually challenged. For most of my life, I’ve constantly sought to expand my spiritual knowledge and push myself to educate myself about theology, religion, spiritual topics, and the bible. I’ve studied the Bible in depth for the past 30 years dissecting it, cross referencing, and getting involved in small group Bible studies to understand God better and what his word says. I’ve also studied a plethora of other spiritual practices and viewpoints including angel numbers, numerology, Buddhism the history behind the Islamic religion, and Catholicism practices. I wanted to truly understand the world’s viewpoints on faith, hope, righteousness, and what God had to say about them.
A shirt designed to remind you that the best kind of party is a party you can remember. Slip this baby on for your next event or girl's night out and feel immediately empowered. This top is tight-fitting but still incredibly comfortable, and it hits just above the navel. Fits true to size.
Sometimes we don’t need a long blog post, we just need a quick reminder and that’s just what I’m here to do for you. Remind you that you were created for something purposeful. You were created to shine a light on this world. You were created to shine. So go now…shine bright like a diamond.
The thing is… sometimes we have to have emotional lows to get back to the highs. It’s a contrast. When we have to let go of something really big in life oftentimes we are left with an emptiness. That emptiness takes time to refill. So what can you do?
I’ve been told my whole life I needed to slow down. A life of 12 cities in my first 17 years as a military brat conditioned me to feel like I always had to keep moving. I kept up that pattern in my 20’s and 30’s.
It didn’t matter where I lived, the maximum I could stay anywhere was 2 years before feeling like I needed to switch… switched companies I worked for, switch positions, switch challenges, switch homes…
Some of you experienced a life of constant movement and chaos. You know the feeling I’m describing. It was a need to constantly take on something more because I felt empty. And I longed to feel at home… but nothing was home. It felt like each job, location, and each overcome challenge felt like I was putting clothes on that weren’t me.
The past few months have been by the far the most transformative months in my life. I wrote a little about the past three years in my last post, but the past few months have grown in a new light. I reached a point where the universe gave me the opportunity to pair up with someone and grow with them. In the course of this healing process, I broke free from generational ties, and limiting beliefs and began doing exactly what I loved every single day. I believe that what we attract, we get. I believe that you can have the life of your dreams. I believe that the universe supports you when you give love. I believe that the greatest of all the gifts we receive is the power to go within. I also believe that you can have, be and do anything given enough time and resources.
It will include how to get your glow back through a variety of methods - nourishing, rest, affirmation, and more. You will walk away with a better outlook and tools to help you roll into the holidays with your inner glow! Cannot wait to see you there
Are you feeling stuck? I understand. I’ve been there several times throughout my life. Sometimes I was facing a blockage that needed to be cleared and other times I had resistance. I’ve found one thing to be true in both situations. If you feel stuck, time to work on yourself. Look to your daily habits, what you are feeding yourself and how much joy you are experiencing. The thing is, we all get off track sometimes. We all have dips and valleys in life. It’s what makes the high points so pleasurable. If you are lacking glow right now, here are five ways to get it back. PS - I recently shared these on Facebook in a quick video!
I believe the world is a giant playground filled with magical corners. I believe heaven lies in running through a sunflower field at sunset, floating on the river with people you love, and being able to take long sunset drives with someone special.
When this blog was initially created, I set out to share the magic that happened in my life on a daily basis. I had no idea at the blog would become my life story a decade later. I seek every single day to find magical moments. Life is busy. There’s so much happening. Slowing down in the mornings and evenings has given me the ability to discover more magic. Sometimes it’s how the sky lights up at sunset on a walk with the cool breeze blowing across the grass. Sometimes it’s the light wind rustling in trees and the way they look like pieces of lace overlapping one another against a blue background. Sometimes it’s the giggles of my daughter or the jokes we make on our drives together. Seeking magic every day is what makes life sweeter. Here are a few ways to make each day special…
Time is precious. It’s the one form of currency we cannot get back. Over the past few years, I’ve grown to be more and more intentional with how I spend my time. Taking out and saying no to activities that are energy draining. Spending time doing the things that bring me joy. Intentionally carving out special moments with people I love and care about. As I’ve done this day after day I realize most days I am living a dream I had years ago. Back in 2017, I went through a period of life that was incredibly trying. During that time I remember having a vision where I spent my time as much as possible in nature and traveling to see things I love. It was a peaceful vision. I’m happy to report that five years later much of my free time is spent doing just that. If you want your life to change, start taking small daily steps towards that life. Here are ways to build your dream life every day.
I spent the weekend resting, relaxing, and playing. The past month of my life was a whirlwind. My role at my job changed, a trip mid-month for a work conference in Vegas took place, and then when I returned it was a non-stop follow up from the trip. I worked twelve days straight without taking even an evening to myself. It was absolutely necessary, but at the beginning of last week, I started to feel really heavy. I dreaded Monday morning and felt like I had zero time to decompress. That was it for me. I knew it was time to take a break. It was suggested I take a full day off and just do what makes me happy, so I did just that. It can be a HUGE challenge to work full-time and run a blog and a business on social media. Although I’ve been doing all three for years, this month was particularly tough. I struggled to bounce back with energy. One thing I have learned about life is that I am the only one responsible for my life. If I want to live a life with clarity and calm I have to create that environment. I also know that I am prone to maxing myself out. Here are a few things I’ve learned about the necessity of rest and play.
This week has already started with a crazy change in my life. Sometimes change is expected and sometimes it hits you like a freight train. This week, it was the freight train for me. The one thing I’ve come to realize as I grow older is that change is inevitable. Nothing in life is static and the key to inner peace and happiness is being able to go within yourself instead of depending on your exterior circumstances. Relationships dissolve sometimes, companies make directional changes, and new opportunities will present themselves. The best thing you can possibly do for yourself is to take care of yourself. Here are a few ways I’ve found navigating change to be more digestible in life.
For years I tried on different lifestyles trying to figure out which one was mine. I tried being the housewife, the adventurer, the breadwinner, the holistic momma, the corporate go-getter, and much more. I needed to go through an elimination process to figure out what I wasn’t before defining what I would be. I think that’s okay. Not all of us come out of the womb knowing our life path. Four years ago I began a journey of self-discovery. I spent more time alone than I ever have to learn about myself, other people, noting what I liked and disliked. I explored destinations alone and reflected in a new journal every month. Pages upon pages were written trying to connect the dots of who I used to be to who I am now. I am told that only a small percentage of people are self-aware. I yearned to be a part of that group. The more I discovered about myself the more I became intentional in my choices resulting in more peace and joy than I knew before. If you are at a similar place in life where you just ache to be more of who you are here are a few things that might help.
Wow! What a weekend! I had an incredible time on South Padre Island and will be sharing tons of fun content over the next few weeks for Spring Break ideas (both snow and sea) but this morning I wanted to talk more about the overarching theme I’ve chosen for 2022. For the past five years, I’ve chosen a word every single year as a focus for my life throughout the year. First, it was the word “health” after getting pneumonia at the end of 2017. Then, it was “simplify” in 2019 where I share my struggles with feeling a lack of purpose in my life. In 2020 I chose the word “explode” where my entire life took a huge leap forward. I ended a relationship, moved cities and my business doubled that year in followers, website traffic, and income. This past year I chose the word “abundance” and let me tell you, I had no idea what was in store. My life took another large leap forward and I experienced success in professional and personal areas of growth. Moving into a home after living in apartments and cottages for years was huge. I started traveling a lot on my own and experienced an increase in peace in my life. Here we are at the beginning of 2022 and I’m choosing the word - “soar” to rise above anything I’ve ever done before in my life. I’ve set some pretty remarkable goals this year and will be working on hitting them one by one.
Last year I chose the word “Abundance” for my word of the year. It was evident in my life I needed to find more joy every day. I wasn’t necessarily miserable or depressed at that time (I fought those battles a few years prior) but I was struggling with feeling happy. I remember that a mentor shared with me the area I needed the most growth in was just doing the things that make me happy. Not the things that made me the most productive. So here I go, trying to shift from doing what I’ve done year over year and now I am supposed to just find joy. About this time last year, I embarked on a 600-mile one-direction road trip. I guess when all was said and done.
How many times have you thought to yourself… I really should have taken that trip? I’m in a phase of life where I am holding nothing back. I have no reason to anymore. In the past, I came up with reasons I couldn’t do something or go somewhere. Maybe it was the cost. Maybe it was asking for time off from my job and I didn’t think they couldn’t manage without me being there. Maybe it was because my ex-husband didn’t show interest or even complained about it. Maybe it was the fact that you have three kids and now you have no idea how to even begin to make that happen. When was the last time you did something that made you feel the most you?
This is now my third Christmas in a row of being sober. I can tell you that although my twenty-something self would have looked at me like I had two heads if I had told her she would be completely sober through a pandemic and into the year following a global shutdown. Yes, this person right here used to love her wine and champagne. Especially on a holiday. A few years ago I made the decision to stop drinking in hopes that my life would find purpose and I would stop having panic attacks. Both happened and here we are ordering mocktails instead of martinis. So little is really talked about in the drinking world outside of being either a drinker or someone who doesn’t. I love going to a good party. I also love fancy drinks. What I don’t love is alcohol. It just doesn’t agree with my anxiety and I feel like a happier human being without it. If you are also in the same boat and alcohol just doesn’t do it for you right now I’m here to tell you a few ways I still have fun without having a hangover.
Can you believe Thanksgiving is in just two days? I absolutely cannot. After a whirlwind of a weekend traveling, I just got back to my house and was thinking a lot on my drive home about mental health and the next six weeks. Holidays are a time where schedules seem jam packed, the to do lists are endless and there are so many social events that leave a person drained at the end of the day. Furthermore, many companies are closing out their year with inventory counts, end of year sales and crunching budget numbers. As much as the season brings me joy, I also find so much of it to include a lot of additional stressors. When stressors amount life can get really overwhelming and the season can loose it’s luster. Here are a few ways I’m focusing on my mental health this season.
Wow! I’m not going to lie as I sit here and write early this morning I cannot believe I’m turning 36 years old in a few hours. Age is funny. I remember a few years back when I lacked purpose in life I felt old and withered. These days I feel like my life has just begun. I feel vibrant, alive, and excited when I rise each morning. I feel like tackling the day is a privilege, not a chore. Over the past two years, so much of my life changed and I’m here for it! I’m living proof that you should not give up on your dreams. Keep going, keep striving, keep doing the baby steps until you reach what you’re after.
A few years back I went through a period of time where I was really shy. Growing up we traveled all over and I was constantly the new kid. It was so embarrassing to eat lunch alone until I made friends. Later on, I struggled with anxiety and found social interactions intimidating all over again. I started working on better lifestyle habits and slowly gained more and more confidence. Just about that time a friend of mine reached out and introduced me to the most amazing mascara. I partnered with a company and immediately was plugged into a team of girls who really cheered me on! We became fast friends over Facebook and they would give me encouragement when I posted! I had no idea how much I needed that in my life and am forever grateful.
At the beginning of summer, I felt so worn out. I had just come off of a four-month push in my business and at work, my daughter broke her elbow and had surgery, and stress was at an all-time high. I felt exhausted and uninspired. Have you recently been there, too? I’ve learned as the years pass that life comes in waves. Sometimes you are riding a high and then the valleys in life happen. As I approach being 36 in two weeks I’ve been reflecting more and more about these seasons in my life. How do I manage the lows better? How do I encourage the high points to stay high longer? How do I stay inspired when I don’t feel like I have much energy? As I’ve reflected I found a few things that help me get through the waves of life.
Are you one of those people that gets a strong sense of direction in the pit of your stomach? Like there’s something inside of you urging you to move one way or another? I am that person. I’ve always had a strong intuition but growing up and into my early adulthood, I didn’t always pay attention to it. In fact, sometimes I would rationalize against it. As I’ve aged (hello 35 almost 36) I’ve learned to trust that inner voice. The inner voice doesn’t steer me wrong. In fact, every time I’ve gone against it I’ve later regretted it. I believe intuition is just as important as what our minds can come up with. I find humans rationalize emotional and illogical choices to justify doing them. I also find that we lead so often with our heads and not our hearts.
Over the past week, I took myself on a little journey across the South. I decided to start in Mississippi and travel down to the Florida coast and then back through New Orleans making a loop home. When I arrived at the coast I immediately encountered a series of thunderstorms. It definitely was a challenge for me to photograph and spend time at the beach due to intermittent raining and required an immense amount of flexibility in my day. I am a planner but you can’t always plan everything. Life is dynamic. In fact, some would say that life is constantly changing and nothing remains the same. I’ve found the thunderstorms bring the prettiest sunsets and rainbows. I think that’s true for life, too. There’s no such thing as only experiencing “good.” You have to have the lows for growth and to appreciate the highs. Without rain there is no rainbow.
Today marks day four of my latest solo trip. As I was heading across the South this week I stumbled across a retired couple at the Anchuca Bed and Breakfast in Vicksburg, Mississippi who commented how they thought it was incredible that I travel alone. I’ve actually been doing this most of my adulthood.I am now a single mom who needs downtime. I love having my daughter and would give her anything but I also have an immense amount of pressure to be and do all. I work a pretty high-stress job and could feel myself in need of time away a few weeks ago. I am writing this to tell you there is a way for you to be a good parent, spouse, family member and have time to yourself. Maybe it’s a far-fetched idea right now. Maybe you think you have no one to watch your kid. Maybe you’ve never left your hometown alone. Maybe you can’t imagine leaving your spouse alone for the weekend. Well, sister or brother - YES YOU CAN. When there is a will, there is always a way. Everything is figureoutable and I’m here to tell you if you need a vacation - you have permission to take one.
This week marks another milestone in my life. Two years ago I gave up alcohol. After a series of panic attacks, feeling a lack of purpose, and ultimately needing peace in my life I made the decision to give up alcohol completely. Today I’m sharing the why, what I had to do to fulfill this decision and how it improved every other area of my life. It was also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Harder than birth, harder that failure, harder than any job I’ve taken. Yet day by day I made it. Two years is 730 days, 1 million minutes and over 67 million seconds. Essentially I made the same decision over an over each day that went by to get to where I am today. Life still throws me curve balls, but it’s manageable now. Before it was not manageable. It was not enjoyable or peaceful - I was miserable. I want to preface sharing my story that I am not suggesting whether someone should drink or shouldn’t - that is a decision that has to be made on your own. I am suggesting though if you are struggling to find joy and purpose to take a long hard look at what you are doing daily and decide if you want to keep doing it.
As I approach the one year mark of being single I realize how important this past year has been in regards to my personal growth. I am pretty sure this was the most significant jump in my entire life. After a huge breakup this time last year I decided before I spent any amount of time seeking a new relationship or even dating much for that matter, I would take time to unpeel the layers of my life and figure out why and how I got to where I was. My last relationship was pretty rough especially towards the end. We were going in significantly different directions and shared minimal life values. It was hard to break up but I knew at the time there was no other choice if I wanted to grow in my own life. I shared in a previous blog post - how to handle a major break up and more about my outlook in the post title how to be single over the holidays. Fast forward to this month where it officially ended a year ago. Here are my own reflections about how life improved, what changed in my perspective and some tips for growth in your own life.
I’ve been sharing so much lately about strength on my social media. The thing I’ve found about strength is that is just doesn’t feel like you are strong when you are building it. In fact, what it actually feels like is that you’re not strong enough. With one foot in front of the other you can make it through. Building strength comes from the toughest things you endure. For each person that looks different because we are made of different life circumstances. We come from different degrees of tough and every person has a different version of struggle. As I continue to move through life I realize that pain is pain no matter what degree and no one moves through their lifetime without enduring something or the other they may almost break them.
