Notes on Returning No. 1

These past few months I’ve felt a little bit like a butterfly slowly emerging from a cocoon. After undergoing a marital separation and divorce, I made it a point to let my nervous system heal and settle. Spending ample amounts of time in reflection, prayer, and growth I’m happy to share that I am a finally ready to shine and share what took years to figure out. This week, my therapist mentioned I’m at the final stage of trauma healing and we would be ending our somatic therapy soon. It doesn’t mean I will never need therapy again, it just means I’ve worked through what I came to see her about three years ago.

When I showed up in our first session, I was distraught, depressed, and a perpetual people pleaser. I deeply struggled with enforcing boundaries and sharing my needs. Throughout the past three years I was able to put what we would discuss during our sessions into everyday life. At the beginning I was so awkward in expressing something I needed. As I grew and developed more agency, I was able to start filling my own cup and meeting my needs with Jesus instead of depending on someone else to fulfill them. I still expressed what I needed to others, but if they couldn’t help, I chose to place a boundary and work to fulfill them on my own.

Each time, the Lord provided exactly what I needed. The more I did this, the better I became at asking for help and creating healthier lifestyle habits. It was a process with ups and downs, but now I feel like I am my own advocate and able to speak up for myself. My Father in heaven knows my needs and he is a good Father who fulfills them. The Lord wants the best for his children!

As I unraveled my childhood in the process, I was able to meet her where she was at. Over time, the little version of me grew up and I pulled off a mask I had been wearing my whole life to reveal a soft but strong person underneath. I can speak with vulnerability without shrinking. I was able to finally finish my book - Missed and Restored sharing about this journey I had been on in healing my inner child. After that, a course called Authentically Made was published to help other women find their voice and identity in Christ.

As the Summer kicks off, I was able to launch a new retail space in an antique shop sharing vintage clothing and home decor. Now, I’m working on new projects with luxury hotels so I can continue bringing you guys travel guides and curated experiences. The Lord is so faithful and when we rebuke the lies Satan tells us, Jesus is able to restore the unhealed parts of our hearts.

Now as I move into a new season, I hope to connect more and more with each of you! This column is designed to be published weekly to give you insight to faith and parts of life I usually keep to myself. I feel the glory of God pouring out of me upon you to let you know how much he loves you and wishes to heal your heart as well.

I hope you all have an incredible week and go forth with the confidence of Christ.

Xoxo,

Crystal K Lowy