Dress: Tanya Taylor // Purse: old // Shoes: Sarah Flint ($50 off your next pair) // Earrings & Bracelet: Park Lane Jewelry

Location: George Bush Presidential Library

Wow. I am in a little disbelief that I am typing these words, but today (which is March 22, 2022) marks three full years since my last drink. Over the course of the past three years, I’ve meta morphed into the best version of myself so far. As I journaled early this morning I realized just how far I’ve come and what it took to get here. I thought I’d share a few life lessons in today’s post. If you are considering removing alcohol from your life then this is the post for you. This is what changed over three years. Some of it I didn’t think was possible. Some of these things required day-by-day focus. Some of it just fell into place. All of it is my testimony to making the best choice for myself. These days I feel alive and I feel like most days I thrive. The complete opposite of where I was a few years back.

Three Heel Clicks - Alcohol Free For Three Years Now

Lesson 1: sobriety is hard, especially at the beginning

At the beginning of my journey three years ago someone wise shared with me, The hard part is NOT quitting drinking but learning to live sober. That person was right. You see when you say no to drinking, you have to reconstruct your life. You have to then figure out how you will live. What activities will you go do now? What friends do you have that don’t drink? How will you relax? Looking back on my own journey I realized the first 90 days were hands down the hardest. I had to form new routines. I had to find new coping mechanisms. I had to deal with problems differently. After that first 90 days, I found some of it easier to navigate. There would be more challenges along the way, but the beginning is where you are going through this huge overhaul in your life. Anyone who makes it 90 days straight has a ton of inner strength!

Lesson 2: Priorities create simplicity in life

Before I could figure out what I should replace drinking with, I had to sit down and figure out what was the most important in my life. My list included: staying in shape, eating healthy, spending time in my spiritual walk, and being a good mom. I was still producing posts on the blog, but it was less consistent and less frequent. I began to make that a higher priority. I also made communicating my wants and needs to those around me a priority. In the past, I tried to juggle everything by myself. One of the biggest growth moments was when I reached out to others and shared how I felt about things. I didn’t realize how much bottling and people-pleasing I had done over the years until I figured out my top 5 priorities.

Lesson 3: You can dig yourself out of troubles

Three years ago I was in a difficult spot. I was in a relationship that was proving to go in different directions. We are talking about a major difference in values and lifestyles. We had a lot of our finances together and let’s put it this way… my credit score needed some attention. I also needed to figure out more income when that relationship ended and had to build a savings account all over again. I was 34 and starting from scratch. For a while, I pushed bills off due to Covid-19 relief… but then I was at a point where I was paying double on things like my insurance and car payment. Every dollar of every paycheck was accounted for as I made progress day by day. It was so hard, but eventually, I was able to raise my credit score by about 250 points and save for emergencies. I moved into an apartment and then to a house. A lot of blessings happened as each day passed. Whatever your situation is, you can work it out. Credit cards can be paid off, you can save a little at a time, and over the course of 36 months, you can have a different life. I still have a lot of anxiety around finances, but I also have a plan. So when I start feeling nervous, I check off the box on my plan and it gets me through one day at a time.

Lesson 4: Boundaries are healthy

Many people who have chosen the path of sobriety will also tell you they struggled with relationships in their life. For some, it’s family members or close friends. For others, it’s a toxic marriage or relationship. A lack of boundaries is not uncommon to find as a result. I realized as I lived my life based on my priorities I would have to tell others no sometimes. It didn’t come easy. In fact, it was terrifying as I had to gently and not so gently communicate what I would or wouldn’t be a part of. It was exhausting. As time passed, I got better at it. I also learned that those who violate your boundaries are probably not the best fit to spend time with. As I created healthy boundaries, I had more energy to devote to the priorities in my life. Peace was the result of being able to complete tasks and actions towards my dreams instead of being sucked into other people's lives.

Lesson 5: You are allowed to choose and take actions

Over the weekend I was telling someone dear in my life that it was weird to finally be able to make sound decisions for myself after this growth period. I can now choose to start, continue or stop in situations. If I want to spend money in an area I can! I don’t have to constantly ask others for permission. It’s been full of freedom I didn’t know I could have! I was no longer a slave to repeating the same cycle. I now felt and was empowered through making new choices! As time passed, more and more of the decisions I made were intentional and now I have a whole different life! A life I built. That life was created one decision at a time.

Here we are three years later and I stand before you with a healthy body, mind, and spirit. I face my problems and sort them out instead of avoiding them. I speak truth to those around me. I try to show up every day even when I don’t feel like it. And you know what? If I can do this… you can, too. You can change your life starting today. It just takes making a decision and following with lots of little actions to back it up! When you get to the other side, you’ll find peace and joy as you’ve never known before.