Shedding Baggage and Layering Confidence
Last week I attended a virtual yoga class and something incredible was said to me as we prepared to begin the session, Fall is a time for shedding things that no longer serve you. A time to discard baggage so you can bloom in the Spring. I realized in that moment I’ve been carrying a few emotional things for far too long and it was time to let them go. I believe the change of the seasons is a chance for us to develop and grow into higher versions of ourselves. Fall is when leaves drop and turn into warm golden tones. Fall is when the days shift to cooler and shorter. It’s a time to start moving indoors and harvest for the Winter. As I look to nature to draw inspiration I am reminded that Fall is also the time to evaluate what I need to clear out of my life to make room for growth in the future.
I’ve written so much over this year about confidence. As I reflect over the shift that’s happened internally in my own confidence building I realize to gain confidence I had to be willing to let go of things that were holding me back and pulling me down. For me, that was a relationship and lifestyle that did not reflect my values. I believe we are responsible for our own paths in life. I believe direction can be conciously chosen or unconciously chosen but ultimately it’s no one else’s responsibility to rescue you. Instead it’s your responsibility to choose carefully and wisely on a daily basis how you act, speak and where your energy is spent. To be able to live a positive life it would require removing people, places and environments that were not going to support and help me grow. Ever look at a rose bush? It requires pruning for it to be able to bloom. When I realized I needed to prune my life before it could bloom I also realized it would require making some tough big decisions.
Maybe for you it will require leaving a job that’s making you miserable. Maybe it’s ending a friendship with someone who is hurting you. Maybe it’s saying no to something you usually say yes to but know it’s not going to help you move your life forward. None of these are easy to break apart from, but at the end of the day you are responsible for yourself and your own direction regardless of what those around you are choosing to do. Begin with examining your values. If you want to have a life full of possibilities you have to give the universe and God room to attract that energy. Start by writing down three things you want to change and develop. Maybe you want to become more organized or less frazzled. Maybe you are looking to improve your mood because you don’t feel yourself anymore. Maybe you would like a healthier family life or be in better shape. Keep it simple and put three of those things on paper.
Next, write down three things that you are doing daily and weekly that zap energy from you. When I realized that I was constantly going in the same circles in a relationship with zero change, it was time for things to end. If you are constantly frazzled because your home is a disaster because you cannot find anything in your house due to it being a mess, then it’s time to change. If you are currently out of shape and wish that would change but choose to watch hours of tv each night… well then it’s time to change. For me, I put boundaries in my life and limited how much time and energy I would waste on dealing with someone who wasn’t supportive. It wasn’t easy - but once I limited communication it opened up emotional and mental energy (not to mention tons more time) for me to focus on myself and building a better life for my daughter. Another thing I realized is if I wasn’t emotional I didn’t have panic attacks. So keeping my emotional health in tact became a HUGE priority. I shed toxic conversation, pointless disagreements and replaced it with things like listening to motivational speakers, spending time with my family and yoga.
You don’t have to move mountains in this process, you are simply shifting your energy from things that no longer serve you or your purpose and focusing on things that do. When you do something long enough you become whatever it is. Focus on the three things you want to become and remove the three things that waste your energy. Keep repeating daily. It’s kind of like a roller coaster during this part of the process… some days will be easy and you’ll feel like tons of progress is being made. Other days will feel like you are going to war and battling everything around you. Ultimately though, keep your eyes set on the person you are becoming and remove as many obstacles as you can along the way. At the end of it all you’ll look back as Winter hits and you’ll realize how much in your life changed in just a few short months.
